I hope your May has been full of positivity and abundance. My May has been fruitful; I passed my master's leveled licensure exam for Social Work, I participated in a community wellness event as a vendor, and I celebrated one of my best friends graduating with her Master's of Social Work. This month has also felt heavy and depressing. I say that with vulnerability because I'm the PEACE sign queen, and I feel as though I've worked so hard to not experience depression any longer. With my triumphs, I have also been in physical therapy and in and out of my PCP's office this year. My physical health hasn't been 100% which is new for me.
Each day I acknowledge that it is a gift to wake up and I constantly remind myself of my accomplishments, but more often than not, I am combatting negative thinking, depressive habits, and an overall low level outlook on life. I know all of the right things to tell myself: "I'm doing good." "So and so loves me." "God has a plan"; but my body feels none of that. I recently resonated with a few articles about how we can intellectualize our feelings. I can tell you my triggers, how to cope with them, and articulate everything in between, but if I'm honest friend, I don't think I feel my emotions. I share content around mindfulness and grounding techniques, but I have slacked on doing them myself. It could be because my body has been in pain, I've been hyper-focused on how to help my clients, or just so far gone into my future plans that I haven't been present with myself.
How are we present with self? We do that by meeting ourselves where we are. Within the past few days, I've acknowledged depression has crept up on me and with little explanation, I'm sad. I'm hoping by being honest about my present state of mind and emotion, it will be met with true healing. We cannot heal what we don't reveal. Now that I've starting revealing how I truly feel, I am meeting myself where I am each day and starting from there. Right now, I need to walk 1/4th of a mile and not my usual 1-1.5 miles. I can only stand to do chores for 20 minutes at a time right now, and that is okay. Most importantly, I have to trust that my presence is exactly where I need to be.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month so please use this as a reminder to be self aware enough to honestly assess how you're feeling and what you need to continue adding to your wellness.
As we transition to the summer, remember there is always opportunity for newness and more days of light, joy, and sunshine.
PSA: We will be gradually moving current stocked inventory to discounted prices so we can make room for our new vessels and goodies coming later in the summer! :)
Be well and stay lit!